Sry I called you an 8
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
farters have to be the big spoon...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I lost the right to judge tonight
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
