she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
either way he was missing a nipple.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
