i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
