i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
