real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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