I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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