Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
