CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
