My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
