: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
