i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
