My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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