Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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