i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
