we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i now understand why vodka
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
