I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
