I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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