She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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