well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
