Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize