I have demons in me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize