Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
