I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
