This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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