You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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