no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
