I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
