Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
