If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this just has baby written all over it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
