You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
