You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
