Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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