So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
