i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize