She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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