I'm eating all of the evidence.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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