thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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