I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Two words: nipple clamps
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