Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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