i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
