Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
