i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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