in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
