I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
