one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
