So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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