I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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