So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
