dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
