i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I could fuck to npr.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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