Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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