The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In America we eat man semen.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
