If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
