Is it because I queefed?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
