if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
