Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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