I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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